Remember the phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” This saying has been encountered by many in various life experiences. Polite, kind, pleasing, and agreeable are terms Merriam-Webster uses to define nice. Those favorable terms can go awry if over-indexed. Amira Barger, Communications Expert, DEI Executive, and Author of The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change, unpacks the impact of niceness and provides solutions and frameworks anyone can benefit from.

The Price of Nice: An Interview with Amira Barger

Amira Barger’s upcoming book, The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change, explores how the social construct of “niceness” preserves the status quo and often stifles real progress. In it, she provides a practical four-part “Think-Feel-Do-Revisit” framework for readers to shift from defaulting to “nice” to acting with “nerve”—boldness, audacity, and courage to disrupt and take necessary action.

Defining Inclusive Leadership

Inclusive leadership is defined as leadership that is clear, honest, and growth-oriented because it doesn’t avoid hard conversations or dilute necessary feedback. It prioritizes the long-term development of the people entrusted to your care over short-term harmony or comfort. It is also about growing the ability, potential, and opportunity for the entirety of the organization and the team.

Understanding the Concept of Being Entrusted to Care

Being entrusted to care means seeing, understanding, and knowing the whole person and understanding that people have lives, dreams, and desires outside of the four walls of the workplace. This includes understanding the needs of employees, such as those who need to start their workday at 9:45 instead of 9:00 am because they are caregivers to children, or an ailing parent, or a spouse.

The Impact of Niceness on Feedback Conversations

An overly “nice” approach can prevent managers from being brave and clear during feedback, thus impeding employee growth. Nice can get in the way because it keeps us from being brave. A truly inclusive and impactful leader is someone who is intent on being clear, naming the behavior and the impact, and sharing specific examples of what needs to be done differently.

Choosing Nerve over Niceness

Nerve challenges, Nerve disrupts, and Nerve holds boundaries. Even if people call you difficult, disruptive, or angry, that’s Nerve. Inclusive leaders have the opportunity to utilize the insights shared in this interview to help better navigate the workplace as a change agent.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the concept of niceness can be detrimental to inclusive leadership and effective feedback conversations. By choosing nerve over niceness, leaders can create a more inclusive workplace and foster growth and development among their employees. As a next step, reflect upon and document the scenarios and interactions where niceness played a pivotal role and essentially impacted the ability to be as inclusive as desired.

FAQs

Q: What is the definition of niceness according to Merriam-Webster?
A: Polite, kind, pleasing, and agreeable.
Q: What is the title of Amira Barger’s upcoming book?
A: The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change.
Q: What is the definition of inclusive leadership?
A: Leadership that is clear, honest, and growth-oriented because it doesn’t avoid hard conversations or dilute necessary feedback.
Q: What is the concept of being entrusted to care?
A: Seeing, understanding, and knowing the whole person and understanding that people have lives, dreams, and desires outside of the four walls of the workplace.
Q: What is the definition of nerve?
A: Nerve challenges, Nerve disrupts, and Nerve holds boundaries.

Ryan Coogler’s latest movie ‘Sinners,’ continues to dominate the box office and be a hot topic on social media as well. The film earned $48 million domestically in its opening weekend, which was the most successful opening for an original film this decade. In its second weekend, the movie only had a 6% drop in sales, in comparison to drops that are typically in the range of 40-50% in the second weekend. Thus far, this horror movie has already grossed over $160 million worldwide. Among the many fans praising the film and providing commentary on social media and Reddit were acclaimed actors Tom Cruise and Kevin Bacon.

Representation Matters

Representation has long been a topic of discussion in both media and marketing, as consumers continue to express their desire for more of it. One research study showed that 76% of consumers said representation in marketing is important for the brands they engage with and buy from. With Sinners’ predominantly Black cast and Black director, fans who are part of the Black community went out in larger percentage of numbers. This isn’t just the case for Sinners’. The same thing happened when a predominantly Black cast and director were introduced into the Marvel Universe with Black Panther. The film shattered records and as of 2018 when it was released, it was the highest-grossing superhero film of all time in the U.S.

Examples of Successful Representation

Black Panther was the first Marvel Movie many people saw, and it was a cultural phenomenon. Other underrepresented and underserved communities showed up to the box office in large numbers when there were casts that were predominantly from their culture. Crazy Rich Asians, which featured a predominantly Asian cast and director and was released in 2018, was the highest-grossing romantic comedy of the decade. And Coco, a movie produced by Disney Pixar and featured an all-Latino cast, was at the time the highest-grossing film of all-time in Mexico (beating out Avengers), and won two Academy awards.

Representation Doesn’t Limit Your Audience

Another common misconception that often prevents brands from engaging in making their marketing more inclusive is the notion that if you feature more people from underrepresented and underserved communities, you’ll limit your reach. The thought behind that belief is that if people who aren’t Black, Asian, or who have a disability see people who are Black, Asian, or have a disability in an ad, media, or film, they will feel like it “isn’t for them” and won’t engage. But that notion isn’t true, and the success of Sinners’ and other movies mentioned in the previous section prove that’s the case. While the Black community turned out in high numbers to see the Sinners’ film, the film wouldn’t have achieved the success it has if that community was the only group of people going to see it.

Broader Appeal

The film has had broad appeal with a broad diversity of audiences. That’s not just true in the U.S., but worldwide also. The film’s grossed almost $170 million worldwide, according to Box Office Mojo. Showcasing talent from underrepresented and underserved communities does not niche your content to only be relevant to those communities. There are plenty of examples of talent in both media and brand campaigns where talent from underrepresented and underserved communities have had mass appeal and often headline general market campaigns.

Consumers Want More Nuanced Stories And Depth Of Characters

Representation matters. But not all representation is created equal. One of the things consumers have said many times is their desire for characters who are like them, and that move away from traditional stereotypes and tropes. Consumers, particularly those from underrepresented and underserved communities want to see more main character energy from the talent brands and filmmakers put forth. One of the remarkable aspects of the Sinners’ movie is that it is an original story, a departure from the remakes and adaptations that plague Hollywood of late.

Depth and Originality

And through this original story, there are a number of different characters that have a degree of depth to them, that fans have been compelled to take to social media to process, share notes, and provide commentary. When you give people, especially those from underrepresented and underserved communities the kinds of characters and storylines they crave, they will help promote your product for you. The amount of earned media you’ll gain will skyrocket. The Sinners’ movie, like other standouts before it, showcased that if you give consumers what they want, they will reward you for it handsomely.

Conclusion

The success of Sinners’ and other films with diverse casts and storylines highlights the importance of representation in media. It shows that representation is not only important for underrepresented communities but also for the success of a film or brand. By showcasing diverse talent and telling original, nuanced stories, brands and filmmakers can appeal to a broad audience and gain a loyal following.

FAQs

• Q: What is the significance of the movie Sinners’ success?
  A: The success of Sinners’ highlights the importance of representation in media and its impact on the box office.
• Q: Does representation limit the audience of a film or brand?
  A: No, representation does not limit the audience of a film or brand. In fact, it can lead to broader appeal and a more diverse audience.
• Q: What do consumers want from media and marketing?
  A: Consumers want nuanced stories, depth of characters, and representation that reflects their own experiences and communities.
• Q: Can featuring underrepresented communities in media and marketing lead to commercial success?
  A: Yes, featuring underrepresented communities in media and marketing can lead to commercial success, as seen in the examples of Sinners’, Black Panther, and Crazy Rich Asians.

In a time when diversity is under fire, leave it to the mind of Anna Wintour to push the boundaries at this year’s 2025 exhibition for the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The spring 2025 exhibition kicks off on the first Monday in May, with an event known as the Met Gala, where parades of celebrities ascend the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art to celebrate the theme. And this year, Ms. Wintour — alongside co-chairs Colman Domingo, Lewis Hamilton, A$AP Rocky, and Pharrell Williams— is putting Black history and fashion at the forefront. This year’s theme is “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” inspired by the work of Monica L. Miller, author of the book Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity and chair of Africana Studies at Barnard College.

What Is Black Dandyism?

In her book, Ms. Miller describes Black dandyism as “a strategy and a tool to rethink identity, to reimagine the self in a different context. To really push a boundary — especially during the time of enslavement, to really push a boundary on who and what counts as human, even.” The concept of the Black Dandy emerged during the 18th century, when it was imposed on Black men in Europe. As a result of the Atlantic slave trade, a trend of fashionably dressed or dandified servants, who were now free, was becoming evident. Enslaved Black people came to understand the power of clothing and style and signaling hierarchies of race, class and gender.

The Evolution of Black Dandyism

The term “Black Dandy” was used to describe men who were extremely devoted to aesthetics and approached it as a lifestyle, attitude and self-assurance. When used by Black people, the term was a way to think positively about their people and ambitions. But when used by whites, the term held a negative connotation against Black people regarding the very same aspirations. Over time, Dandyism gave Black men and women the opportunity to use clothing as a means of transforming their identities and envisioning new ways to embody political and social possibilities—shifting from enslavement to self-stylized individuality. This evolution came to signify wealth and status, empowering fashion-forward individuals to become global trendsetters through the stories their styles told.

The Exhibition: Superfine: Tailoring Black Style

The exhibit, Superfine: Tailoring Black Style, is organized into 12 sections, each representing a characteristic that defines dandy style: Ownership, Presence, Distinction, Disguise, Freedom, Champion, Respectability, Jook (as defined in Zora Neale Hurston’s “Characteristics of Negro Expression”), Heritage, Beauty, Cool and Cosmopolitanism. “Superfine” will feature garments, paintings, photographs and more from artists including Tanda Francis, Torkwase Dyson, Tyler Mitchell and André Grenard Matswa—all exploring the indelible style of Black dandies, from the 18th century through to the present day—and will be on exhibit from May 10 to October 26, 2025. Throughout the exhibit halls, one-of-a kind artifacts will be displayed, including photos and works by W.E.B. Du Bois; originals by Zora Neale Hurston and Nikki Giovanni; archival issues of Jet and Ebony magazines; and historic fashions worn by Frederick Douglass and others from the Harlem Renaissance.

What Is the Met Gala?

The Met Gala is an annual, invitation-only charity event and fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, and it serves as a celebration of the opening of the Costume Institute’s annual fashion exhibition. The event is renowned for its haute couture, elaborate themes, extravagant red carpet appearances and the presence of high-profile celebrities and fashion industry leaders. The cost to attend what is widely regarded as the world’s most prestigious and glamorous fashion event? In 2024, it was $75,000, up from $50,000 in 2023.

The Importance of the Met Gala

Established in 1948 by publicist Eleanor Lambert, the Met Gala is a fundraiser for the newly founded Costume Institute and also served as a way to mark the opening of their annual exhibit. The cost back then was $50. In 1995, American Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour—who now also serves as the Global Chief Content Officer and Artistic Director at Condé Nast, overseeing all their publications—became the Met Gala’s chairperson. She took the event to another level and grew the guest list to include celebrities from across the worlds of fashion, entertainment, big business and professional sports: all while making the event one of the largest, if not the largest, fundraising event in NYC. The 2024 Met Gala raised $26,000,000, a record for the event.

The Theme: Tailored For You

This year’s Gala dress code is “Tailored For You.” The host committee this year is made up of André 3000, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Jordan Casteel, Dapper Dan, Doechii, Ayo Edebiri, Edward Enninful, Jeremy O. Harris, Branden Jacobs-Jenkins, Rashid Johnson, Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee, Audra McDonald, Janelle Monáe, Jeremy Pope, Angel Reese, Sha’Carri Richardson, Tyla, Usher and Kara Walker. The exhibition is made possible by Louis Vuitton, with support provided by Instagram, George Lucas and Melody Hobson’s Hobson/Lucas Family Foundation, Africa Fashion International (founded by Dr. Precious Moloi-Motsepe), Tyler Perry’s The Perry Foundation and, of course, Condé Nast.

The Importance Of This Theme In These Times

While each year there is a different Gala theme covering a specific angle of couture, Black Dandyism seems to come at a time where representation and diversity are being scrutinized in education, across corporations and even at publicly funded museums like the Met. This theme underscores the power of representation and the opportunities found in elevating diverse perspectives and storytelling. Economically, diversity is a proven driver of innovation and profitability. As America’s demographics continue to evolve, it’s estimated that Black Americans’ spending power sits between $1.4 trillion and $1.8 trillion annually, a powerful economic bloc that’s comparable to the gross domestic products of Mexico, Canada and Italy.

Conclusion

This year’s Gala and exhibit are as much about visibility as they are about the vitality of Black culture, past, present and future. And for that, bravo, Ms. Wintour. The exhibition and the Met Gala will not only celebrate the history and significance of Black Dandyism but also provide a platform for contemporary Black designers and artists to showcase their work.

FAQs

Q: What is the theme of the 2025 Met Gala?
A: The theme of the 2025 Met Gala is “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” inspired by the work of Monica L. Miller and her book Slaves to Fashion: Black Dandyism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity.
Q: What is Black Dandyism?
A: Black Dandyism is a cultural and historical phenomenon that refers to the practice of Black people using fashion and style as a means of self-expression, empowerment, and social commentary.
Q: Who are the co-chairs of the 2025 Met Gala?
A: The co-chairs of the 2025 Met Gala are Colman Domingo, Lewis Hamilton, A$AP Rocky, and Pharrell Williams.
Q: How much does it cost to attend the Met Gala?
A: The cost to attend the Met Gala is $75,000, up from $50,000 in 2023.
Q: What is the purpose of the Met Gala?
A: The Met Gala is an annual fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute and serves as a celebration of the opening of the Costume Institute’s annual fashion exhibition.