Why Inclusive Leadership Requires More Than Kindness

Remember the phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” This saying has been encountered by many in various life experiences. Polite, kind, pleasing, and agreeable are terms Merriam-Webster uses to define nice. Those favorable terms can go awry if over-indexed. Amira Barger, Communications Expert, DEI Executive, and Author of The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change, unpacks the impact of niceness and provides solutions and frameworks anyone can benefit from.

The Price of Nice: An Interview with Amira Barger

Amira Barger’s upcoming book, The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change, explores how the social construct of “niceness” preserves the status quo and often stifles real progress. In it, she provides a practical four-part “Think-Feel-Do-Revisit” framework for readers to shift from defaulting to “nice” to acting with “nerve”—boldness, audacity, and courage to disrupt and take necessary action.

Defining Inclusive Leadership

Inclusive leadership is defined as leadership that is clear, honest, and growth-oriented because it doesn’t avoid hard conversations or dilute necessary feedback. It prioritizes the long-term development of the people entrusted to your care over short-term harmony or comfort. It is also about growing the ability, potential, and opportunity for the entirety of the organization and the team.

Understanding the Concept of Being Entrusted to Care

Being entrusted to care means seeing, understanding, and knowing the whole person and understanding that people have lives, dreams, and desires outside of the four walls of the workplace. This includes understanding the needs of employees, such as those who need to start their workday at 9:45 instead of 9:00 am because they are caregivers to children, or an ailing parent, or a spouse.

The Impact of Niceness on Feedback Conversations

An overly “nice” approach can prevent managers from being brave and clear during feedback, thus impeding employee growth. Nice can get in the way because it keeps us from being brave. A truly inclusive and impactful leader is someone who is intent on being clear, naming the behavior and the impact, and sharing specific examples of what needs to be done differently.

Choosing Nerve over Niceness

Nerve challenges, Nerve disrupts, and Nerve holds boundaries. Even if people call you difficult, disruptive, or angry, that’s Nerve. Inclusive leaders have the opportunity to utilize the insights shared in this interview to help better navigate the workplace as a change agent.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the concept of niceness can be detrimental to inclusive leadership and effective feedback conversations. By choosing nerve over niceness, leaders can create a more inclusive workplace and foster growth and development among their employees. As a next step, reflect upon and document the scenarios and interactions where niceness played a pivotal role and essentially impacted the ability to be as inclusive as desired.

FAQs

Q: What is the definition of niceness according to Merriam-Webster?
A: Polite, kind, pleasing, and agreeable.
Q: What is the title of Amira Barger’s upcoming book?
A: The Price of Nice: Why Comfort Keeps Us Stuck—And 4 Actions for Real Change.
Q: What is the definition of inclusive leadership?
A: Leadership that is clear, honest, and growth-oriented because it doesn’t avoid hard conversations or dilute necessary feedback.
Q: What is the concept of being entrusted to care?
A: Seeing, understanding, and knowing the whole person and understanding that people have lives, dreams, and desires outside of the four walls of the workplace.
Q: What is the definition of nerve?
A: Nerve challenges, Nerve disrupts, and Nerve holds boundaries.